I've realized something. I'm a workaholic.

Now, before you get all concerned and say "you're going to give yourself a stress ulcer and wake up with no life when you're 30" on me, let's think about this a little. There are some benefits.

1) Money. More working x hourly rate = more $$. Plain and simple.
2) Ability to ignore my personal life. If I'm too tired from working a 16 hour day, I don't have to think about my mom nagging me for not being out and dating a bunch of random people to discover that I'm in love with my best friend. (Hypothetical example taken from the last movie I saw, "Maid of Honor" with the utterly sexy and totally doable Patrick Dempsy).
3) More coffee consumption can actually be good for you. See the study here.

Also, on the occasional, more emo note, I have a theoretical question: Is it better to be idolized or ignored? Do you want someone that dotes all over you (perhaps inescapably so) or someone who rarely recognizes you as anything more than a friend, even though you're supposedly in a relationship?

My Foreigner obsession is getting worse. Also, so is my taste in other music. Today I looked up what iTunes calls "Power Ballads" and downloaded a selection of them -- well, the ones I didn't already have haha. Also, I got the gem that is "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley. Wow, now there's a cheesy song. I love it anyway. Oy.

However, I had a very important (to me, at least) realization. I figured out why Di can't be alone. It's not the sex. It's not the romance. It's not even the comfort of having a "someone." It's the loss of the tactile activity that comes standard with a relationship. It's the hand on your shoulder or the fingertips that lightly graze your arm. It's the soft kiss on the
neck that brings a feeling which lingers in your memory hours later. That's why I don't do so well alone.

Oh well.
Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna let you down,
Never gonna run around and desert you.
Never gonna make you cry,
Never gonna say goodbye,
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you...

Living as a graduate post-college has allowed me a small amount of time to reflect, especially since there are quite a few scary moments of deja vu to things that happened four years ago. But as such, there is no going back and thus no time like the present. Meaning, I have decided to stop worrying so much and just start having fun.

And with this, I must give a huge confession. Since 2003, I have been single (i.e. not in a committed relationship) for about a total of 5 weeks. All except for a few days of my college life was spent in one of two relationships, and now I'm about to embark on the weird, scary world of dating. Yikes.

Now that I think about it, maybe I'll just hang out with friends and keep the whole "dating" thing non-existent. Champagne, anyone?